If you took 3 apples from a basket that held 12 apples, how many apples would you have?

3

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance they looked like hares!

Why was the crab sent to prison?

Because he kept pinching things!

 


The polar bear

illustration


POLAR BEAR CUB:  Mum, am I a real polar bear?
POLAR BEAR MOTHER:  Yes, dear, of course you are.
POLAR BEAR CUB:  Really?
POLAR BEAR MOTHER:  Mother: Yes, son. I’m a polar bear. Your dad’s a polar bear. Your grandparents are polar bears. Your sisters are polar bears. Your brothers are polar bears.
POLAR BEAR CUB:  I know that, mum. But am I a real polar bear?
POLAR BEAR MOTHER:  Of course you are. Be quiet and eat your fish.
POLAR BEAR CUB:  But I’m not a polar bear, I’m sure.
POLAR BEAR MOTHER:  Listen to me. You are a real polar bear. Why do you ask the same question again and again?
POLAR BEAR CUB:  Because I’m freezing!

 

Healthy livingillustration

 


Lucy Williams worked in an office near the city centre . She usually went for a walk in the park during her lunch hour. Nearly every day she saw a very old man who was always in the park on the same bench. He had white hair and a long white beard and a very contented expression. She sometimes nodded to him or said hello and he always smiled back very happily. One day, she decided to stop and speak to him.
   ‘Excuse me,’ said Lucy, ‘I often see you here. You always seem very cheerful and you’re never sick! What’s your secret for a long and happy life?’
   ‘My secret?’ asked the old man, smiling at her ‘I don’t have a secret.’
    ‘But how often do you take exercise?’ asked Lucy.
    ‘I never take any exercise, young lady.’
    ‘What about your diet? How often do you eat fresh fruit and vegetables?’
    ‘I hardly ever eat vegetables.’ he replied, still smiling,  ‘And I smoke almost all the time.’
   ‘That’s amazing!’ said Lucy. ‘How old are you?’
   ‘Thirty five,’ he replied

Fear of flyingillustration


Mr. Harrison needed to fly from London to New York. He was afraid of flying but the journey was important for his job so he bought a plane ticket from a travel agent.
   At the airport, he tried not to be nervous about his first flight.
   ‘I’m not going to worry about it’, he told himself ‘Everything is going to be fine. I’m going to get on the plane, I’m going to go to sleep for a few hours and when I wake up I’m going to be in New York.’
   The plane took off and after an hour in the air, there was a loud noise. Mr. Harrison heard one of the flight attendants say to the other, ‘ Oh no! That sounds really bad.’
   Mr. Harrison called the flight attendant over and asked, ‘Excuse me, but is everything going to be OK?’
   ‘Oh, don’t worry about a thing, sir. Everything is going to be just fine. We’re going to arrive a little later in New York, but that’s all. Just fasten your seatbelt and go back to sleep.’
   Mr. Harrison tried to go back to sleep again but only ten minutes later, there was screaming and shouting from other passengers as they pointed out of the window.
   ‘The engines are on fire! We’re going to crash! We’re all going to die!’
   The pilot opened the door of the cockpit and told the passengers to keep calm. He was smiling and his voice was relaxed so Mr. Harrison felt a little better. The pilot walked to the emergency exit of the plane and took some packages from under a seat. He gave some to the flight attendants and took one for himself.
   Mr. Harrison was now very worried and so he asked an attendant, ‘Excuse me, but are those packages parachutes? You said we had nothing to worry about!’
   ‘No, sir. Don’t worry about a thing. We’re going to get some help.’